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22 April 2010 @ 02:28 pm
Extenuating Circumstances, Peep Show, Mark/Jeremy (R)  
Title: Extenuating Circumstances
Author: valderys
Fandom: Peep Show
Pairing: Mark/Jeremy
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,642
Warnings: Dub-con
Prompt: Peep Show, Mark/Jeremy When Jeremy spikes Mark's lemsip and puts him to bed so he won't interrupt his mushroom party, he thinks "It's alright, it's not like I'm going to rape him. I could rape him... no, I'm not going to rape him." He doesn't, but there's stuff he could do while Mark's asleep and justify to himself it wasn't really rape...
Summary: See above :)
Notes: Written for dark_fest.


When Big Suze had left, and Johnson and even Super Hans, Jeremy was left with the lingering scent of shit and the toilet door lying in the hallway. He couldn't bear to go through to the living room, where the remains of the mushroom tea still sat on the floor, tepid and forlorn. It would be too much like staring at the ruin of all his hopes, his hopes for a good mushroom party, yeah, but still, more than that, the ruins of his hopes and dreams as a man, as a human being with a right to prove himself a hero or a god. All right - it was actually the ruination of his chance to shag Big Suze, but wasn't that the same thing?

It was all Mark's fault. Things were regularly Mark's fault, obviously, so Jeremy wasn't at all sure what made things different this time, but somehow the fact remained that they were. Perhaps it was something to do with the way the stink of Mark's shit was - unusually - curling through the air in a particularly virulent shade of green. (Why green? Why not brown? Or red? Or paisley, for that matter?) Or maybe it was something to do with the way that his anger with Mark earlier had faded away into some kind of weird despair centred in his chest, which was manly existential angst, Jeremy assumed - and also happened to smell of day old curry discovered in your shoe just that one minute too late.

Of course, it was probably more likely to be the fact that Jeremy was still high on mushrooms, although the curry flavoured despair might indicate to the connoisseur that he was coming down. Perhaps it didn't matter in the end - the fact remained that as his current shag-less state was Mark's fault, then Mark should be the one to pay in some way. It was the conclusion of champions and as Jeremy wandered through into the kitchen with some vague notion that he probably ought to supplement that decision with the breakfast of champions - it was morning after all, or post-midnight at least - he cogitated on what he could do to Mark. On what it was precisely that Mark deserved.

In between stuffing handfuls of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes into his mouth to satisfy his munchies, Jeremy pondered. He frowned a lot too, because thinking was hard work, before stopping that quite suddenly. He wasn't getting any younger, and he didn't need frown lines on top of everything else. Anyway, he didn't usually think, so why change the habit of a lifetime - it wasn't a hard decision anyway. Mark had brought all this onto himself, so he only had himself to blame for the consequences. Right? Right. Stupid gastric flu.

Jeremy picked up the empty bottle of Night Nurse and squinted at the label. He ignored the few tendrils of chemical magenta that appeared to be wafting from the bottle, he had bigger fish to fry. He wondered which of the many annoying and complicated-sounding ingredients was responsible for knocking somebody out for the night. He read the directions and realised that the one dose you were meant to take was tiny, barely even a capful, so he'd done Mark a favour, really, when he'd fed him the lot. There was no way that Mark would have got better on one tiny capful - in vodka terms that barely wetted the back of the throat.

Which reminded Jeremy - there was actually a bottle of vodka here in the kitchen, wasn't there? His emergency 'oh-my-god the landlord's come round and Mark isn't here' bottle of vodka. He rummaged behind the bread bin, eyed the back of fridge suspiciously and eventually found it in a cupboard behind the industrial bag of Value pasta that Mark claimed he never touched. Jeremy took a swig, and enjoyed the burn in his throat, it lit up his limbs with an attractive shriek of mixed trombones.

Sod it. Mark was his friend. He should help his friend, and Mark liked the sound of trombones in brass bands. He liked trumpets and cornets and horns too. He'd like the sound this vodka made when it slid down your throat, and who was Jeremy to deny him? He poured a generous shot into a mug, squeezed in some lemon juice, a spoonful of honey, and poured in the hot water.

Holding the mug, Jeremy wandered through to the hallway, and stood outside Mark's room. It was an apology, that's what this was. A liquid, never-to-be-repeated admission of remorse. Mark just better bloody appreciate it, hadn't he, the great useless shitty lump.

It wasn't hard to push the door open. The padlock was dangling now, almost as useless as Mark, and then Jeremy was inside, standing in enemy territory. If he wasn't careful he could catch a nasty case of crippling shyness, or efficiency might rub off on him. Mmm. Rub off. Some chance. He stared around at the tidy shelves, at the clean walls, as he put the mug down on the bedside table. So this is how the other half lived - when the other half was boredom personified. His skin prickled in an involuntary shiver. What was that smell? What did Mark call it? Oh yes, laundry detergent. It wasn't shitty in here, now was it? Picky bloody bloke - couldn't he have used the take-away bag, like anybody else? It wasn't as though Jeremy had left him high and dry.

Mark didn't move when the mug hit the table, although it made a tidy thump. Jeremy might have panicked a little about that, except he could see the slow rise and fall of the duvet. Mark was definitely still alive, which meant Jeremy was feeling faintly angry, rather than guilty, but the close call made him clench his hands into fists. Maybe he should punch Mark. Tell him it was male bonding. Mark had never bonded in his life, so he'd never know the difference. Maybe he should…

Jeremy sat on the edge of Mark's bed, and poked him in the shoulder. Mark didn't move, although he did make a kind of snuffling noise. It was a hard poke, but through the duvet, so its force could have been blunted, Jeremy supposed.

"Oi, Mark," he said, in his normal voice. That was his normal voice. He wasn't whispering because he didn't really want Mark to wake up, nope, not him. "I've made you some medicine, home-made by me, and there isn't even any mushrooms in it. Did you hear me? Home-made. That's right, I made you a drink. I used the kettle and everything."

There was no answer, although Jeremy was unsure by this point whether he even wanted one. Sat on the edge of the bed, he'd discovered that Mark's duvet was really, really soft. He dragged his fingers up and down, up and down, and shivered at the contact, gentle lullabies playing on his skin.

Well, Jeremy had already established that Mark owed him, right? Not to mention he was obviously dead to the world. And this fucking synaesthesia was starting to get right on his wick. Maybe a massive sensory overload was what he needed to sort himself out again? That sounded like a great Plan. A sensible Plan. Fantastic.

So Jeremy stood up, took off all his clothes and slipped under that wonderful duvet. He debated with himself for half a second about whether he should leave on his boxers, but since he didn't know how often he'd turned them inside out, and their crispiness might interfere with his Plan, he took them off.

Wow. Beautiful, luxurious, not-crunchy duvet. There weren't even any crumbs. And Mark wondered why Jeremy occasionally brought a shag in here! Well, actually, wonder wasn't always the uppermost emotion in Mark's mind at such times, but really, what did he expect? Jeremy stretched decadently, wriggling his toes with a wonderful arpeggio. He felt like all his skin was being stroked at once. Ok, it was no shag with Big Suze, but it was better than a poke in the eye with a sharp badger.

Mark was selfish keeping all this decadent duvet to himself, that's what he was. Jeremy rolled over to tell him so - and froze. Double wow. Beautiful, luxurious, soft skin. Acres of it - or that's what it felt like. Had Mark been holding out on Jeremy all this time? Under the cheap suits and fusty aunt manner, had Mark been hiding this wonderfully sexy body? Well, no. Jeremy wasn't that bloody high. But it couldn't be denied that spooning up against Mark's back was a richly rewarding experience. Mmm - pale, smooth and warm. To Jeremy, it felt like Mark tasted of the creamy apple pie and custard that his Mum made - or at least that had been bought for him in Tesco's and warmed up in the microwave. He wriggled and that lovely apple-pie sensation ran right down his body - christ, that was peculiar. Jeremy vaguely hoped he wasn't going to have inappropriate reactions to fruity desserts later on, but supposed it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen.

Mark had been holding out on him. He was always buttoned up in pyjamas every morning and evening, so Jeremy had no idea he slept naked. Nude. All apple-like. God, he had to stop. He was beginning to get inappropriate reactions now. Or was it really that inappropriate? Jeremy had brought Mark a drink. When Jeremy bought a drink for a girl it was in order to get laid. So obviously, having brought Mark a drink, and especially given that Mark owed Jeremy already, then they should have sex. QED.

What did QED actually mean? People used it to prove an argument and Jeremy realised that he must at least believe his own propaganda because, completely outside of his own volition, he had started thrusting slightly, actually rubbing his completely appropriate erection onto Mark's back. Sod QED, what did he care, it felt fantastic. The man still wasn't moving though - which in other circumstances might have upset Jeremy, given his god-like abilities in the sack - but deep in the recesses of his lizard brain, something was telling him that it would be a bad idea if Mark woke up right now. Although Jeremy could always pretend he was hallucinating Mark was Big Suze, that might work.

Meanwhile, all the higher functions, what there were of them, were slowly shutting off. Jeremy slipped down into the duvet a bit, which made him moan, until he was resting his dick flush in the crack of Mark's arse. Beautiful, brilliant friction. E=MC² probably. Equal and opposite reactions. Crap - even being in Mark's room was infecting his brain with cleverness. Fuck. But even that horrible thought didn't make much of a difference right now.

Every time Jeremy moved he was getting more delicious sensory overload. Mark might not have gloriously pillowy breasts, but facing this way, Jeremy couldn't even tell. He opened his mouth to tell Mark that, but closed it again in a hurry. It didn't stop his thrusts becoming more urgent, and less subtle, but it bothered him. He couldn't ever tell Mark about this, he realised suddenly - and that was weird. He told Mark everything. Even the really sordid bits that he didn't tell Super Hans - like that blowjob with Pietre, who he'd thought was a girl - he'd had a girl's name, hadn't he? Or eating out that bint who'd just come on. It didn't matter what happened in his life - eventually, Jeremy told Mark about it. And even if Mark made that face of his, like someone was using his mouth for a dog's arse, or he threw his toast at him in disgust, or called him a pervert, it didn't make much difference to their relationship in the end. Dimly though, Jeremy thought that this might make a difference. Maybe. Probably. Bugger.

But Jeremy was rock 'n' roll. People didn't get to be rock 'n' roll by refusing to do the stupid shit. They did the stupid shit all the time and they loved it. Right? He thrust one last time, hovering at the point of no return, and then abruptly he was plunging down the other side, and shooting his load all over Mark's back. That was it. Done. It was done.

Jeremy was sweaty now, and basked in the afterglow for all of, oh, thirty seconds, before something was pricking him in the belly, with a chilli-flavoured pang. It was a little like the manly existential angst he'd experienced earlier, but it didn't feel like that kind of curried despair. Jeremy had a horrible suspicion it might be guilt. But he didn't do guilt, did he, so it couldn't be that. Maybe it was the thought that now he'd have to hide this from Mark for the rest of their lives? That every time Jeremy looked at his best friend, he'd think of this, acres of white skin and how Mark tasted of apples, fresh and sweet? Fuck that shit. That was an almost lyrical description. Mark should not be sharing space in Jeremy's head with anything that could be considered a lyric - although admittedly it would be a ballad of some kind, so maybe the girly imagery was all right. Maybe, in fact, Mark would forgive him if he featured in a top ten hit?

Oh god. Jeremy didn't do secrets. Not for long. It drove him bananas. It sent him nuts. He'd be a whole ice-cream sundae at this rate, and Mark still wouldn't know. He wouldn't find out how much Jeremy had liked it either. He wouldn't be able to shift himself back against Jez, and join in, Mark wouldn't moan his name, or anything. Jeremy shifted against the duvet, but the mushrooms must have worn off. It just felt like cotton, damp and sticking slightly to his skin. He pouted, but no-one was there to see, so he stopped. Well, he'd just have to show him then. Wouldn't he?

Tenderly, Jeremy picked up his t-shirt from the floor - and that's how tender he was, because he didn't even use one of Mark's - and wiped his cum from Mark's back and arse. Nothing kills romance more than early morning crustiness as Jeremy well knew. And then he lay his head down next to Mark's, close enough that his breath was stirring the short dark hairs at the nape of his neck, and carefully, slowly, wound an arm around Mark's middle. Ha. He'd found pillowy-ness even if it wasn't breasts. But what most people didn't know was that Jeremy didn't need breasts, not all the time. He had a funny urge to lie his head down on all that squidginess anyway, which he suppressed for now. Time enough for that tomorrow.

Jeremy didn't do secrets. Certainly not from Mark. But this way he didn't have to. In the morning it would all be utterly obvious, and Mark would shout, and get over it, and maybe they'd have sex again, that would be good, and it would all be ok. Jeremy liked being himself around Mark, he always had been, and Mark had been fine about it. Jeremy didn't see why that had to change just because he'd involved Mark in some pretty good sex. He wasn't selfish, turn and turnabout, he'd suck him off tomorrow, and Mark would love it, because Jeremy was a pretty damn good shag, actually.

After all, even Mark couldn't deny that tonight, Jeremy had really been most truly, and honestly, himself.

Then Jeremy closed his eyes and sighed in satisfaction. He didn't merely sleep the sleep of the just, he slept like a baby.
 
 
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
prochytesprochytes on April 22nd, 2010 01:54 pm (UTC)
This was lovely: hilarious and creepy and dubious and touching by turns. Jeremy's synaesthesia and paranoia about Mark's Mark-ness being contagious are beautifully evoked.
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 22nd, 2010 03:34 pm (UTC)
Jez was easier to write for than I thought - he's such a bastard, and yet I found I loved him anyway :) In my head, Mark has been awake all this time, of course, and his internal monologue has followed much the same path...
Riona: oh very wellrionaleonhart on April 22nd, 2010 04:17 pm (UTC)
This is so twisted and yet brilliant. I am worried by how easily I can see Jeremy doing this; the man has never even heard of a moral compass. And the ending is confusingly sweet, despite the awfulness, which is a very Peep Show combination.

Can I tempt you to post over at peepshowfic?
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 10:34 am (UTC)
Sure - I'll pop a link over at some point!

I'm glad you liked it, I don't know why, but I was worried it went too far. I'm such a wuss - I don't write non-con or dub-con hardly at all, so it feels like a bigger deal than it is, I suspect! :)
fantastic dealer of woundssmirnoffmule on April 22nd, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC)
Oh lovely, this is fantastic! Your Jez voice is absolutely spot-on, and soooo funny. I was going to quote back to you the parts I loved, but that would be the whole entire fic, basically. I love your descriptions of his trippy sensations, colours and shapes and sounds, and the ending is really kind of sweet in a twisted way (though I can't help feeling he's being a bit optimistic about Mark's reaction...) Fantastic stuff! Thank you so much!
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 10:59 am (UTC)
Oh goodie!! I was so hoping you'd like it, and even that the ending wasn't too overly sweet and implausible. I'm apparently bad at writing dark to order... (It's my contrariness - I'll write gen for a porn fest, and dark for a fluff fest, and apparently sweet for a dark fest :)

And, in my head, Mark was awake all along and could have stopped him, but chose not to, such is my obstinate muse!

And for spot on Peep Show voices, can I point you at this, if you haven't seen it? I really liked it.
Sarahsazz_k on April 22nd, 2010 06:06 pm (UTC)
I've already commented once, but I think LJ ate my comment. Sorry if you get it twice!

Anyway. This is absolutely brilliant. I've been looking forward to reading this ever since I saw you claim the prompt and it definitely delivered :D

Your Jeremy voice is spot on, you've kept him so in character, and I'll probably start confusing this with the canon before long xD

I love how this is funny, dark, and awkward, all at the same time - it's very much like the actual show in that respect :D

This is amazing, thank you for writing it!
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 01:39 pm (UTC)
No, I'm afraid lj did eat your other comment, I only got this one!

I'm so glad it made you happy - it was a prompt I never thought I'd claim, but it was the one that kept niggling at me until I did. I did enjoy writing it though, which is all you can ask really, isn't it? :)

It was easier to get into Jeremy's head than I thought it would be, and not nearly as icky as you might think - I just ignored any bits of my conscious that were pricking at me and wrote him without them, and it seemed to go ok!
kurenai_tenka: Yellow Flowerskurenai_tenka on April 22nd, 2010 09:46 pm (UTC)
I just had to comment to say that I was just reading this and I looked up at the TV and there was Jeremy's actor on it.

How uh, awkward. XD


Also, I'm not finished yet, but great so far. :)
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)
It's ok, it's only when Jeremy's actor looks back at you, that it gets awkward :)

Glad you're enjoying it!
kurenai_tenka: Pink Heart Lollipopskurenai_tenka on April 23rd, 2010 06:11 pm (UTC)
Well it got even weirder, about 30seconds after I posted that comment the adverts came on and there was David Mitchell staring right at me. XD

And yes, I did. Thanks! :)
Valderys: David Mitchellvalderys on April 27th, 2010 09:45 am (UTC)
Mmm. David staring right at you... Yum. Or maybe that's just me? :)
matchsticks_p: SHARK ATTACKmatchsticks_p on April 23rd, 2010 12:21 am (UTC)
This is fantastic! I feel like I shouldn't have found the ending as sweet as I did, because it's pretty fucked up and creepy, but it was also kind of adorable. You did a great job describing Jez's shroomed-up synesthesia--I especially liked the part where Jez said Mark felt like he tastes like apple pie. Amazing. I'm clamouring for a morning after sequel!
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 01:50 pm (UTC)
I know I should write a morning after sequel because I agree, it kind of does beg for it, but I don't want to promise because I know how bad I am at doing sequels!! I'll consider it, how about that? :) I'm happy you like it though, particularly the synesthesia, because I wasn't at all sure that part of it worked... Thanks!
mutant_biscuitsmutant_biscuits on April 23rd, 2010 02:13 am (UTC)
Brilliant! I think you got Jez absolutely down-pat, and would absolutely love to see a sequel! :D
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 23rd, 2010 01:51 pm (UTC)
It may happen, but I can't say it's likely, I'm afraid. I can say that I'm sure I'll write more Peep Show at some point, if that helps... :)
the Legs, the Nose and Mrs Robinson: Billy noseflutematildabj on April 24th, 2010 09:51 am (UTC)
Ohhhh, this is so so perfect. Spot-on Jez inner voice. I love the way you use words - this was a pleasure to read from start to finish. YAY.
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 27th, 2010 09:39 am (UTC)
Yay! He's a git, but I found writing him easier than I thought - I just turned off any moral embarrassment or squickiness I may have had, and went with what was left :)
Helen: M&W - Mitchell and Webbchocolatepeach on April 24th, 2010 12:01 pm (UTC)
This is good! Creepy but sort of adorable, and love the trippy descriptions. Very well written - great voice!
Valderys: David Mitchellvalderys on April 27th, 2010 09:41 am (UTC)
Thank you! Creepy and yet adorable is EXACTLY what I was going for, I'm so pleased it came across!
(Deleted comment)
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 27th, 2010 09:44 am (UTC)
Yay for the sexy times - I must admit I didn't think it would be sexy AT ALL - but these things apparently creep in - who knew? :) So happy you liked it, thank you so much!
lilacbird on March 10th, 2011 07:55 pm (UTC)
I only know how to post comments
Damn you LJ you're supposed to be accessible grrr

Anyway, is it strange that out of this whole story, with the sexual parts and everything, my favourite part was where Jeremy wanted to cuddle Mark's squishy body? Because that's adorable.
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on March 11th, 2011 10:13 am (UTC)
Re: I only know how to post comments
Oh dear - having access problems? I haven't noticed that on lj lately but have had them in the past - it might be some incompatibility with your software though? Mine was caused by the kind of firewall I use!

Anyway. Thank you very much! I must admit, that was the part I also loved - because I couldn't bear to leave it unsorted out, as it were. And because I love Mark's squishy body too! :)
Porn Administration Fairy of Rationalistan: writingkahvi on March 29th, 2011 10:49 am (UTC)
Oh, this is beautiful; in a way, it explains exactly what it is about Jeremy that I love, and exactly what it is about him that I hate. And sometimes it's the same thing. And oh goodness, this is fucked up and lovely. <3 (And very well written, or it wouldn't be any of those things!)
Valderys: Mitchell and Webbvalderys on April 1st, 2011 02:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Hee. That is exactly what I love and hate about Jeremy too - I'd like to just hate him, but he's still so wonderfully sympathetic.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )