11 June 2006 @ 10:22 pm
Happiness is...  
My first fic to be fully posted on my new journal. *bounce*

Title: Happiness is...
Rating: PG
Pairing: McShep
Word Count: 865
Notes: A ficlet inspired by a couple of fics I've read recently which end on the shmoopy note of 'I love you'. McKay has never struck me as a man who could just leave it there... :)
Summary: ...over-rated.


John said, ‘I love you’ and then he sucked on Rodney’s bottom lip. He smelled of musk and gun oil and the ocean, and his hands were hot as they worked their way under Rodney’s shirt.

“Oh, thank god,” said Rodney, his heart pounding so hard in his chest he thought he might pass out.

Later, pleasure dried into stickiness, with John’s head sprawled on his chest in sleep, ridiculous cowlicks tickling him, and his back bent into the most pleasant of pretzels, Rodney thought, this is perfect. Just perfect.

And he knew he was completely happy.

For approximately 3.6 seconds.

::


“But what precisely do you love about me?” Rodney asked, later still.

John looked up, his green eyes dark and hazy with sleep.

“Obviously there’s the brilliant mind – and who couldn’t love that – and the commanding personality, that’s a given. But I need to know, Colonel – what do you specifically love about me?”

Instead, John dragged a protesting mouth to his own and silenced him, because that was what John did.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, it didn’t stop Rodney thinking.

::


“What was the first thing that you loved me for?” continued Rodney, as they sat in the jumper and watched the ashes of yet another long dead civilization twist and turn in the void.

John raised an eyebrow.

“Please, I really want to know,” Rodney insisted, “Because it may surprise you to learn that not everyone I’ve ever loved has felt the same way.”

He took a deep breath.

“I could really do with knowing what it was, so just humour me, Colonel, all right?”

So John did. After all, he was good at humouring Rodney.

::


“Did you really fall in love with my mouth? That doesn’t make any sense,” Rodney suggested another day, as he fired wildly over the heads of the suddenly retreating villagers.

“Scientifically speaking, I know people choose their mates based on symmetry of feature, and smoothness of skin tone, all indicating a basic healthiness and ability to breed. Although obviously in our case those criterion are wasted and ridiculous, nevertheless all the voodoo and soft squishy sciences I’ve ever indifferently glanced at indicates that…”

John took Rodney’s emptied handgun and carefully replaced the expended clip, whilst keeping an eye out for further hostiles. The woods were quiet, except for Rodney.

“Falling in love with a crooked mouth, makes no sense, Colonel. No sense at all.”

::


“Oh, please. You can’t really love me, Colonel. It’s ridiculous.”

Rodney stood with his hands on his hips and glared at John. After all, that was what he was good at.

John rolled his eyes.

“After all, there are scales for this sort of thing, and it’s a demonstrable fact that As tend to pair with As and Bs with Bs. Despite my clearly superior intelligence and genius, I am still willing to admit – in an extremely limited way, mind you, and in private only – that I might, possibly, remotely, not be an A. But you are, clearly. An A that is. You shouldn’t even be with me. Don’t try to deny it.”

John picked up his sports bag, and threw his towel around his shoulders, before heading off to the showers.

“Oh, oh – don’t even bother to deny it then. You see, I am a genius – I knew I was right,” said Rodney, in triumph.

Though he wasn’t entirely sure what it was that he’d won.

::


Rodney stuck his chin out defiantly. “I know you don’t love me, Colonel.”

John looked confused, and Rodney rushed on before it was too late.

“I know you might think you do, but you see, it’s scientifically impossible. All empirical evidence suggests that anyone as ridiculously gorgeous and bright and desired as you, couldn’t possibly end up with someone like me, so that you had to come up with a reasonable suggestion that I might believe to explain it, something that would present a reasonable hypothesis – like love – something that you hoped I wouldn’t question and see through for the fallacy that it is.”

John looked at Rodney in the light of the setting sun, high above Atlantis, on their favourite balcony. Rodney found his hands wouldn’t stay still, and that he was having trouble meeting John’s eye. Which was ridiculous.

John shook his head and then left the balcony.

Rodney had the satisfaction of knowing he was a genius.

::


“Umm. I know this is… Well, what I mean to say… I’ll try not to let any incipient awkwardness interfere with our working relationship,” said Rodney, latest of all.

Until John dragged him out of the mess hall, down the corridor, and into their favourite closet. And then he kissed him.

Rodney actually let him, he was so surprised.

“All right,” John growled against his skin, “I don’t love you. Is that better? Is that what you wanted? Will you just quit it now? If you like, I’ll spend the rest of my life not loving you – in fact I’ll prove to you how much I don’t love you, every single day.”

“Oh, thank god,” said Rodney, the weight lifting from his chest at last.

He never had coped very well with happiness.
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Rosa: sga - me/you (from beeej)[info]rrrosa on June 11th, 2006 09:53 pm (UTC)
No, you're right--he definitely wouldn't be able to leave it at "I love you" And good lord, wouldn't it be just like him to tank a relationship to prove he was right and then be slightly baffled as to what had just happened.

Thanks for the story!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC)
Ah! He'd have just never really believed in the relationship in the first place, I reckon. And then been stressed and disappointed, without really knowing why... *pets our Rodney*
The good kind of bitchy and flippant!: mcshep - blue heart[info]bluebrocade on June 11th, 2006 09:56 pm (UTC)
I liked this a lot. Having it be all Rodney speaking and not including any John dialogue until the last section was really effective. I love the last line. True of many people, and I can totally see Rodney being that way.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC)
I like playing with odd styles in my fic, and this was just one that seemed to fit. Glad you liked!
Lerah: snark because I'm smarter[info]lerah99 on June 11th, 2006 10:04 pm (UTC)
I adore this piece. Your Rodney is so perfectly...well...Rodney. I really like how you've captured his need to pick things apart and explain them. I also like how John reacts.

THank you for posting this.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:31 pm (UTC)
He does, doesn't he? Rodney never accepts anything. That was what was niggling me so much about fics that end in 'I love you', I think...
[info]hotspur18 on June 11th, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC)
Oh, God, he *would* do this, wouldn't he?

*laughs*

Brilliant! (and sweet, and perfectly *them*, but I'll say that very quietly so they don't hear *g*)

:-) xx
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:34 pm (UTC)
Shhh. I'll just whisper it then. Thank you!
dannylover934: penguin[info]dannylover934 on June 11th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
*giggles madly*

This is so Rodney and John and I love it. I love that after awhile John doesn't even respond because John does that a lot. Perfect!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:37 pm (UTC)
When Rodney's venting, I reckon John tunes him out a lot :) Luckily he listened to some of the right bits here!
pointy: R-happy[info]_inbetween_ on June 11th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
I certainly love this; it's the only answer to this question :)
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:38 pm (UTC)
And I thank you very much!
cher: SGA: Shep - Out of the lab![info]sylvertongue on June 11th, 2006 11:23 pm (UTC)
I kind of love that they have a favourite closet. :D
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:39 pm (UTC)
Well, I used a lot of fic cliches in this, as another bit of fun to poke, in a kind way, I hope. The favourite closet just seemed appropriate :)
adafrog[info]adafrog on June 11th, 2006 11:29 pm (UTC)
lolol Poor Rodney.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
But luckily John understands him - neuroses and all! :)
Being loud is part of my mystique: sga M armcross[info]chase_acow on June 12th, 2006 12:00 am (UTC)
Very cute! Excellent style there, as others have pointed out. Thanks so much for sharing.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 14th, 2006 10:41 pm (UTC)
You are entirely welcome! It was fun. I like playing with styles.
blueocean80[info]blueocean80 on June 12th, 2006 12:14 am (UTC)
liked it a lot!
All warm and fuzzy inside now. Thank you!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 15th, 2006 12:35 pm (UTC)
Re: liked it a lot!
*wraps you in extra fuzzy blanket* We aim to please!
born in an electrical storm[info]r_becca on June 12th, 2006 12:53 am (UTC)
Great job -- adorable, very funny, and I love Rodney here. :)
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 15th, 2006 12:36 pm (UTC)
*pets our Rodney* Who couldn't love him? :)
Becky: SGA John Rodney my place[info]beeej on June 12th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
I really love this. Rodney overthinking it, and John ignoring it until he can't anymore. Really lovely. :)
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 15th, 2006 01:02 pm (UTC)
Rodney needs to understand things, after all. It's just the way he is! :)
stungunbilly[info]stungunbilly on June 12th, 2006 01:09 am (UTC)
So real. Almost scarily real, actually.
Nice.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 15th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
Cool! Thank you!
[info]fatuorum on June 12th, 2006 02:21 am (UTC)
This made me smile, most unexpectedly. *g*
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 15th, 2006 10:51 pm (UTC)
*happy* Thank you!
[info]stellahobbit on June 12th, 2006 04:49 am (UTC)
What I like about this piece is that Rodney really does want to know why John loves him, just so he can keep doing/being whatever it is, so he doesn't lose John's love.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:26 am (UTC)
Absolutely! That's exactly it! That is completely the way I see Rodney - I don't think he'd trust love if it came with a large sign saying 'true love' and tied up in a big red bow! :)
me: brokeback mountain: love[info]wagacca on June 12th, 2006 05:13 am (UTC)
This is so great! I can hear John's voice at the very end, growl included. Great fic!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:34 am (UTC)
I didn't set out to have John be so quiet, but I wrote the first three sections wthout his direct input, and then thought - what the hell! It's a style :)
Kath: SGA McShep_defiant[info]nakedwesley on June 12th, 2006 05:29 am (UTC)
This is so sweet and funny and them. I love it to pieces!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:35 am (UTC)
I don't often write sweet, so I'm so glad it worked for you!
fire tits: SGA Drama Queen[info]merelyn on June 12th, 2006 05:55 am (UTC)
Oh, Rodney. Loved it!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:35 am (UTC)
Many thanks! Love the icon!
they are persuaded by the music of the bells: john and rodney - tardis[info]zabbers on June 12th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
Oh, that was so cute (and at the same time, serious, since Rodney was really pushing it and was so insecure and all)

pleasure dried into stickiness

yum.

And he knew he was completely happy.

For approximately 3.6 seconds.


“Falling in love with a crooked mouth, makes no sense, Colonel. No sense at all.”

Oh, but we all love his crooked mouth.

I love how we don't hear John talk except for the "I love you" and the end, but we get so much of a sense of John from the things he does, like reloading Rodney's gun (which is also such a great little "we're so well attuned, our actions in the field are like choreography" moment). It works really well, and it's not just great Rodney, it's great John.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:41 am (UTC)
Oh, thank you, hon! I find John relatively easy to write but also easy to get wrong, since there are so many more interpretations of him out there, far more than there are of Rodney. Rodney is so much easier to pin down - although bloody hard to get the voice right, I think. So. Well. Thank you!
We're classicists: we get it wrong, people die.: cockit[info]toft_froggy on June 12th, 2006 11:16 am (UTC)
Aww. This is so, so Rodney, and I'm so glad you ended it like that, because it could go so badly wrong for them, just because Rodney couldn't believe in it. You struck a little close to home there for me, actually. *squirms uncomfortably*. I love your John's reactions, too.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:44 am (UTC)
Ah, I do like my angst - but I do tend to write my angst in a different way... Not that you would know that, of course! Sorry to make you a bit uncomfortable - but also a bit proud of it too. If you know what I mean? *hugs*
auntiemeesh: butchsundance - orchidicons[info]auntiemeesh on June 12th, 2006 02:33 pm (UTC)
I'll have to wait until I get home internet before I read this, but I'm looking forward to it. :)
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:44 am (UTC)
Ah, it's only a little ficlet! Hope you enjoyed, m'dear!
Bettina: rodney mckay is happy[info]_bettina_ on June 12th, 2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
Very funny. Heh.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:45 am (UTC)
Cheers, m'dear!
Sanne: Rodneygenius[info]zooz on June 12th, 2006 06:29 pm (UTC)
So so Rodney and well so so John. Funny :-) thanks for making me smile all goofy like.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:46 am (UTC)
I'm always a bit worried about their voices, so I'm so glad you can hear them so well! Thank you!
Gunbunny: brain pinky[info]burntcopper on June 13th, 2006 12:54 pm (UTC)
must. collapse. in puddle of goo.
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 11:46 am (UTC)
Awww. *mops you up* Thank you!
laisa1[info]laisa1 on June 14th, 2006 12:58 pm (UTC)
I've attatched it to this account for various reasons!

Did you see I've actually written a bit of fanfic - I bet you thought you'd never ever see the day!
Valderys: Rodney - zpm[info]valderys on June 26th, 2006 12:01 pm (UTC)
Where, hon? Which lj? Or was it the bit from Laisa's POV I think I saw, that you mean? That's barely fanfic - you channel her every day :)
(no subject) - [info]queenortart on June 26th, 2006 06:12 pm (UTC) Expand